Ways to tell that i am broke asf:

1. I actually start taking up the company’s free car service even if it means i’ll arrive home at least an hour later (depending on how many other people they need to drop home before reaching my place) than i usually would if i took a cab. Eventhough my place is only a five minute drive away from my office and a 10-15 minute walk away. Eventhough my working hours end around 9.30 to 10pm and the car service only leaves office grounds at 10.30pm at least.

2. I actually have to ration the amount of snacks that i can snack on in a day. Because i recently had a friend over, i had so much fun showing him around i completely lost track of my budget and now i have little to nothing to rely on til my boyfriend gets here. Just today i had to ration between having an extra mango rujak and having a lontong and even then i felt guilty for buying the latter eventhough it came from out of my budget and was literally only 45 cents.

See the thing about living here is that, it’s cheap so when you have money, nothing matters and you don’t have a care in the world. But when you’re broke, every single rupiah counts because you’re thinking, “oh my god, i just spent 20 cents on that donut, i could have used that 20 cents to contribute to tomorrow’s lunch of $1 mango rujak. Or if i had saved it, i could have bought a more filling lontong for an extra quarter”. I’m not even kidding.

3. I actually feel guilty about having my hair washed. So guilty that more than once the idea of parading around lanky, smelly, misshapen hair has crossed my mind. Or to wash my hair and show up on my last official day of work as a permed lion and have people remember me as a complete nutter. Which isn’t actually a thought. Therefore i have come to the conclusion that it is absolutely imperative to have my hair washed tomorrow at the salon since it is my last day at the studio and i need people to remember me at my best.

4. I’ve actually resorted to bargaining. Yeah. You heard that right. I think one of my characteristics which is the most ambiguous is my complete lack of bargaining skills. Ambiguous because it works both ways; good because i won’t embarrass anyone and put them in an uncomfortable situation by acting like a cheapskate and bad because well, sometimes i don’t get bang for my buck.

A close colleague of mine was trying to sell me a pack of caramel banana crisps with a hole in the packaging because it was the last one. I told him i’d take it if he sold it to me half price but by then i was already feeling pretty guilty because i’d just bought spaghetti on an impulse before that so i wasn’t that into it. He wouldn’t buck down (which was a win-win situation for me since i wanted it cause it’s yummy as fuck but at the same time if i didn’t get it i’d be able to save my money and not feel so guilty about my hair appointment tomorrow) which i thought was unfair of him considering previously i’d always let him keep the change, which apparently is a big deal here cause like i said, every penny counts. But in the end, we stood our ground and the freaking banana crisps were neither bought or sold by anyone.

Can i just add though that the crisps in question were a dollar fifty. Lol. I’m going to look back at this and laugh my ass off

5. When someone suggests lunching out and i’m not the most excited one for once. Like, that is a huge giveaway because Lord knows i love eating out.

6. When someone suggests taking a taxi home instead of waiting for our original ride and i’m not the first one to agree. Which is also a huge giveaway because i am all for private rides, convenience and paying other people to do your shit.

It’s just such terrible timing for my finances to be in such bad shape right now. This is the last week of my internship and right now, i should be gorging out on all the cheap office snacks that i can have because i won’t be having them any longer. Donuts, lontong, rujak buah, kebabs, peking duck rice, banana crisps, cheese kerepek. Faaaaaaaaaaaaaack. eugh just faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. When is my boyfriend coming overrrrrrr already