Favourite Period Talk: Apple Strudel cookies +Neuroticism

by alittlehoneyformyheart

I’m on my period. I know. If you were to painstakingly go through my entire archive, you’d find five period posts at least. But i can’t help it, it’s one of my favorite topics to kvetch about. Odd considering my irrational intolerance of blood which usually leads to the unattractive sight of me flopping around on the spot because the sight of someone getting bloodied just makes me suddenly so aware of it flowing through my veins and well, flopping while making gagging noises makes me less aware of it, i guess. Sometimes even staying still and being aware of my pulse beating and stirring my blood makes me want to foam at the mouth.

But my period is especially weird this month because it’s really not even supposed to be that “time of the month” yet! I’m at least ten days early. Which meant that all through Tuesday i was laying around in bed like an invalid because i was kept up all the night before from these nasty cramps which made me want to vomit from feeling so nauseated. Honestly, i thought it was this bug that i’d caught from one of my family members and i was all “fuck” because my little brother actually puked ten times in a day when he had his stomach flu. And then it made its rounds to everyone and i thought it was my turn.

But it wasn’t.

It was just my period.

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Me and the entire world population of females when getting their periods

And maybe also that yummy but messily prepared Diablo pasta from Capers that i’d had a few nights before in the all-you-can-eat, peppered all around with these tiny green chilli padis that tasted great but, you know, too much of a good thing and whatnot.

I was just really shocked when i got my period tbh. But after that it just made sense when i really thought about it. Like you know you have a terrible attitude towards food when you can’t tell if you’re really PMS-ing or just bullshitting yourself. Because i was insanely craving these apple strudel cookies that my brother bought the other day and i was going around the bend, like, literally, just going round and round and round the entire biscuit aisle at the grocery store forever because i couldn’t find them. And then i got into a level 2 (like on a scale of one to three) fight with my boyfriend because i was pissed that he wasn’t “being supportive” about my search for something that i wanted so badly and knew was there but couldn’t focus on because he was nagging me so damn much. I cried and told him i hated him and that he was turning into my dad who never wanted to wait for my mother when she went shopping for her stuff. Just being my ushe neurotic self. But we were cool half an hour later.  I found the cookies just now after a week of looking. On my own. And i made sure to take a picture to send to my boyfriend to tell him that HAH see i told you i could’ve found it if you hadn’t been nagging me so much! (Which is actually a lie tbh because i found them in the dry packet section in the aisle next to the biscuit section but that’s beside my point so i didn’t bother mentioning that bit lolz).

Also the next day i kind of went..crazy. Ish. Crazyish.

Emma

But that’s a different story to tell. Plus it really did turn out to be a genuinely bad day towards the end. But in actuality, even i’ll admit it started out with me just being plain all-round hormonal and imagining things and blowing things out of proportion in my head. Yeah, so basically nothing out of the ordinary.

So i was saying i was just really surprised when my period came while i was at D’s place because: 1) It wasn’t time, 2) I didn’t have a pad on me and 3) The flow. They say the first and second day is the worst but wow, i had to change panties at least three times over the course of the next 30 hours.

wide-set-vagina

You have no idea how actually terrified i was when googling this gif and waiting for the results with half-shut eyes

But anyway i found out that the solution is to wear really tight underwear so it doesn’t leak. No cute boy shorts boxers in this “current” condition. Lol. Just plain tight panties (preferably black) the kind that rolls into a thong under your muffin top the first moment you exhale.

Okay i’m done. That’s all.

xx

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