Life update-ish + Turning over a new leaf?

by alittlehoneyformyheart

In case anyone is wondering, I haven’t been doing that much. Nothing much except for feeling guilty ASF that i haven’t written anything here in forever. My life mostly revolves around classes and i’m still kind of getting into the groove of things. It’s weird but after a year of being away you’d think that everyone would be refreshed and gearing up for our final two semesters but honestly, i really couldn’t be lazier. I think i’ve skipped or overslept about 30% of classes so far and it’s only been about five weeks! A few days ago i attended the graduation ceremony of some of my close friends and while my other friends who were there to show our support were all gushing about how excited they were for their turn next year and how envious they were, i honestly didn’t share their sentiments. I mean, of course, God forbid i’m forced to repeat another semester because of some error in technicalities but at the same time, all graduation means for me (other than an official degree, that is) is the beginning of the rest of my life and not to mention, the stress of looking for jobs, cover letters, resumes, all those envelopes and glue and sticking on addresses and thinking of who to direct it to and how to address someone dammit eugh just the thought of it is enough to make me want to give up and be a housewife. So yeah. Graduation is great because i get to say i have a degree but i’m also very much equally dreading it.

On the other hand, i really need to pull up my socks. I know the semester has just started but i don’t feel comfortable with how comfortable i’m feeling, do you get what i mean? Maybe it’s just my major but my friends all around me are going around the bend and staying in the library til ungodly hours and finishing assignments til late and here i am, just… oversleeping til noon and missing classes and planning my next getaway and making lists of things i need to stock up that i can’t find in Brunei. Which is why i’ve decided that eventhough i absolutely hate being on time (it’s practically a law in my books) i’ve decided that at this stage of my life, it is crucial for me to at least try and implement it in some areas of my life.

Although i’ve been thinking it for the past week and yet just today i strolled into class 45 minutes late after washing the roof of my car, stopping at the convenience store to get credit for my phone, making a detour to the toilet to check on my hair riiiiight before walking smack into a mid-semester test that i had no idea was happening today. Fuck. And it turns out that the lecturer had actually given three references to read through for the exam, one of which was 196 pages long. Lol yeah like i was going to be able to outline everything on the spot. And for starters, I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE THE NOTES WITH ME and the class was in a bad location which meant that i didn’t have good connection on my phone to even download it. FTS. But thank God for Yas who was an absolute lifesaver today and texted me asking if i needed to use her laptop which already had the files downloaded unto it and even offered me paper because nope, i didn’t even bring my own paper today.

So tomorrow classes begin at 10 and i’m going to attempt to be on time. Eventhough it’s already 1 a.m.

I’m going to make up for the lack of posts as soon as i possibly can. I hate that i’ve neglected this page for as long as i did. In fact, i’m tempted to trash this post, just like i did with the rest of the drafts BUT i’ve got to start somewhere. So that’s all for tonight!