Thoughts on OITNB S03E08 in real-time + I’d hate to be a teen again

by alittlehoneyformyheart

Since all i do nowadays is sleep, socialize and stream Orange Is The New Black, i don’t really have much to talk about so i’ve decided to blog about my thoughts on the 8th episode of OITNB (season 3) in real time. Consider it an amateur’s live-stream…that’s not really live but at least i’m streaming it! So you get my drift.

  • Okay did Piper just say “vag sweat”–
  • Oh Alex should just stay in prison, she really looks so much better in prison scrubs than she does in “the real world”
  • Am i the only one who thinks that she’d really suit a septum piercing? I can’t be–
  • And um who does she think she is, a descendant of Cyndi Lauper?! I mean, who wears fishnet arm warmers to a club in Paris?!  Alex on crack, that’s who

  • Piper’s “give your panties to me” speech was really kind of convincing and somehow patriotic. I’m kind of digging it
  • Daya’s mum Aleida probably has the most flawless face out of all the inmanets IMO. How the hell does she pull off those shoes?
  • No, the real question is, how does she even get grey eyeshadow?! I wonder if she uses pencil lead
  • Okay this guy Danny is so wimpy looking and so obviously hiding something from Caputo. I don’t like him. Plus he looks like he kisses ass
  • OMG is Pennsatucky going to hook up with the new CO?! I would so ship that!
  • Piper has really weird mouth movements, it’s distracting me

“Oh shut up, Piper”

  • What’s the hype about Ruby Rose anyway? She’s not even as hot in the series as she is in real life… or maybe i’m just biased because i’m a Possey girl through and through
  • Ruby Rose seems like a real busybody. I can’t stand her
  • *points to donut store sign* “I don’t get this sign. Is Trudy a stick of butter?” “No, she’s a maple log. You can’t see that?”
  • Now i want to eat a stick of butter. I freaking love butter. I love it so much i could gobble up an entire stick of it between two slices of bread

Me

  • Oh God i really want Pennsatucky and this guy to happen **
  • Okay now i feel bad. Danny is being so nice and trying to get new supplies for the prison. Why is everyone so tight-fisted with the budget?! Books are crucial, people! They establish character and could be pivotal in these inmates’ transformations!
  • D’awwwww I still really want George’s mom to get the baby! Anyway i loved Pornstache! Screw Bennett! He got annoying in season 2 anyway!
  • Daya has a really nice mouth though *googles her “real face”*
  • Finds out that she’s super sassy and develops a mini crush on her
  • Gloria is such a badass. I’d say she even levels with Red. Aand she’s gorgeous too! Not a fan of her butchy haircut though, sorry Sophia

  • “Don’t blame me. I am but a lowly instrument to the muses.” I don’t see how Crazy-Eyes could be more amusing as a character, she is P E R F E C T
  • Umm where’s the petition i can sign to get Healy off the show? He just sucks all round. As a character, as a counselor (especially as a counselor) and just as a person in general. Eugh
  • Did they get new hair for the new counselor? I could have sworn she started out looking better different
  • Eugh Healy is such a spiteful character!
  • Omg is something going to happen between Tasty and Poussey?! HELP I DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS
  • Whew oh okay no they’re just friends. Sigh Tasty is such a nice inmate

I’m sorry but you’re mine, bae. I will cut Tasty if i have to even if she is one of my top 10 inmates

  • Okay no, i was right Danny Pearson is definitely an asshole
  • Lol Caputo’s band and his singing is making me cringe. I feel so embarrassed for some reason lol
  • I’m not convinced that Blonde Pixie Cut here isn’t one of Cubra’s spies! Alex knows and i know that she’s definitely up to something!
  • Hey Cubra doesn’t seem like such a terrifying person. He’s kinda hot and i get rational dad boss vibes from him. I feel like he’d definitely listen to Alex if she’d JUST STOP SHIFTING HER WEIRD EYES HERE AND THERE
  • Although for a second there i thought he was going to bash her head in. Then when he reached down to pull his chair i thought he was going to take out pliers and pulls her nails out
  • Okay what am i even saying i’m clearly terrified of this Cubra guy–

** UPDATE: I’m currently on episode 11 and I TAKE IT BACK, i fucking hate the new C.O. and what he does to Pennsatucky! Fucking weirdo and his “doggy” fetish! Eughhh i hate him! I’ve never really been a fan of Doggett but understanding what she’s been through and seeing history repeat itself over and over again is just horrifying.

I’ve actually got the next episode pre-streamed already lol. I’m so glad that they’ve finally shifted most of the storyline from Piper since season one. She was such a bore… although i do want to know what happened to her fiance and BFF. Those bitches.

Okay that’s all for tonight! There was some drama in the family earlier tonight but i don’t think i’m in the state of mind to want to talk about it just yet…or ever, for that matter. All i’m saying is, this house i call “home” back here in Brunei is a terrible place to be a teenager in. I myself barely made it out alive and i wouldn’t wish it on anyone else, such a helpless pity considering i have three younger siblings. Sometimes i just want to block everything off and come to my safe place. Which is my laptop. And my boyfriend. But even we’ve been on the rocks lately, thanks to me. Hope this isn’t a permanent thing.

xx

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