“POST-menstrual blues” is an actual thing! + Burning Bridges + Not burning bridges
Warning: Incoherent post ahead
I’ve been angry a lot for the past few days. The littlest things get me going and of course, the ones closest to me are the ones who have to bear the brunt. You know what they say about how you hurt the ones who love you the most. It’s not a pretty idea but it’s one that’s more realistic than some of us can bear to admit.
I’ve been drafting a lot of posts over the past week, a lot of which never came to see light because i was just so hormonal all the time and anything that made sense two minutes before just ceased to have any relevance when it came to clicking the big blue button. There was this one that i drafted about a different kind of PMS a.k.a. post menstrual syndrome which i believe was the cause of a lot of my annoyance and dissatisfaction with everything in general! My poor boyfriend who felt like he couldn’t do anything right! Lol. But during my fitful moments of temporary
sanity clarity i assured him that it had nothing to do with him and more to do with my ovaries acting up. (Okay so i just googled post-menstrual syndrome and it is most definitely a thing, according to this article! And apparently, the psychological aspects of it (i.e. emotional distress) are even more intense than actual pms which explains the headaches, the joint pain and the diarrhea lol k granny t.m.i).
Also, a large reoccurring theme that has been milked for what its worth over the past few days has been me contemplating some long-term friendships of mine. And i’ve been wondering if it isn’t time to severe some of the ties. You know how some days you review your relationships with people and realize that a lot of them are mainly out of habit? What if you just decided one day that you didn’t want to be around them anymore? That at the end of the day, they were causing you more distress than companionable happiness? And that there wasn’t any use with keeping up appearances any longer because you were just. DONE.?
And then all of a sudden today happened and i realized that some friendships are worth hanging on for because every sane relationship faces trials and tribulations every once in a while and at the end of the day, the decision lies with whether the good aspects are really worth dealing with the bad ones for. I don’t know. I’m not sure how i feel about this. Maybe i’m insane, going through this inner turmoil in my mind while the other person doesn’t even have a clue and is going around absolutely blissfully unaware of my annoyance with them. Maybe i’ll wake up tomorrow, scroll past another instagram post from you and decide that hey, it’s time i finally ditch this bitch for a peace of mind. Or maybe not. I don’t know.
I really don’t know.
I’m not even fully sure of what this post is about and i was actually just about to bin it because i left it unattended while watching some Buzzfeed videos (this one has to be one of my favourites to date! “White man’s overbite” HAH i’m dying) for about 45 minutes and by then this just felt…like a browning apple. But i thought what the heck, i’d already written 300 words on it so why not?