I JUST REALLY LIKE TO SLEEP + Marrying my father??

by alittlehoneyformyheart

You know how they say that you end up marrying your parents? I feel like i’m about to marry my father.

Well technically i’m going to marry my boyfriend who sometimes, in my eyes, acts just like my father should. And subconsciously, in retaliation i respond to him in a manner befitting for a teenage daughter towards her annoying overbearing father.

While i was in Bandung, i used to wake up really early, anytime ranging from 9 to 10 o’clock, the latest ever being 1pm and only then because i was hungover asf. I think it had something to do with my blinds or the position of my room facing the sun idek but the point is, it became a good habit to wake up super early. But ever since i got back, my body clock (whatever that means) has readjusted itself and now i have to actually set an alarm to make sure i get up before 3pm.

Perhaps it has to do with my sleeping habits because i only feel safe switching off my laptop when my curtains turn blue which means the sun is about to rise and even then i do a bit of reading to  put myself to sleep. But i don’t see anything wrong with this considering i am currently unemployed and on summer break! Am i right?! When else will i get to sleep at sunrise and wake up for dinner when i start working?

But despite my long sleeping hours, i keep subconsciously waking up to check my texts and keep track of the time which you can probably guess is not the most satisfying. And while i don’t understand the concept of lying to the person you’re seriously dating, i find myself being very sheepish and shifty-eyed when it comes to letting my boyfriend know that i’m still asleep. It’s like i think he’ll be mad and disgusted at me? Why do i even feel like this? Does he make me feel like this or is this purely my own doing?

I suppose i feel embarrassed confessing that while he’s been having lunch and being busy at work with meetings and shootings, i’m still in bed, covered in drool and hugging three pillows. So i do this thing where i wake up acceptably early to text him and then i start snoozing my alarm for every ten minutes for the next two hours and then resuming my fitful sleep which if you think about it, is pretty stupid because i don’t freaking need an alarm because i don’t have anywhere to be!

And then today happened and as usual i went to bed at six-ish but set my alarm for 12pm. I wake up at 12pm and i shoot out a text to my boyfriend saying something typo-filled like “omG i jusT relzed todaY is father day” in an attempt to seem awake and running.

And then i stumble through my suitcases (yes, i haven’t unpacked in case you’re wondering) and lock my door eventhough i usually keep it unlocked because i’m terrified my Asian dad will open the door and find me snoring and give me a lecture about how the early bird gets the worm.

Then i go through the whole ordeal of snoozing my alarm once again and finally wake up at 2.30 pm because my mom is knocking on my door and then i put my hair in a bun, apply some Optrex drops to my eyes and then dash out of my room with a big smile, trying to seem like i’ve been awake the entire day while i wish my dad a happy father’s Day. And then while i’m still in the living room, i reply my boyfriend who’s asking me if i’ve fallen asleep again with a nonchalant “haha no” and tell him that i’ve just been having a nice little chat with my parents the whole time since we last texted.

Why do i do this to myself?!

A woman should be allowed to wake up and go to sleep at her own disposal dammit! Especially an unemployed and unbusy one! It’s not like i have to wake up and feed the kids breakfast and do their laundry and get them ready for school, isn’t it? My imaginary kids can do that themselves!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is where i question myself: Am i marrying my father? 

And secondly, is oversleeping and staying up late really something that i should be ashamed of?

xx

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