Stuck in a funk + My writing skills suck + Breathing new life into old habits

by alittlehoneyformyheart

I’ve been delaying this post for the past five days that i’ve been back. I’m trying to ease back into my old habit of updating regularly (or if possible, even daily) but it’s proving to be harder than expected ūüė¶ While i was in Indonesia, it felt like i was living the life and when you’re having that much fun, the last thing you feel like doing is holing yourself up in your room and being hung up on¬†the laptop when you could be doing so many other things. I mean, i do obviously get distracted in Brunei as well but it’s different when about 95% of these “other things” involve the internet.

“And even then our internet is one of the most expensive in the world. Huzzah”

As for my writing skills, i’ve¬†been thinking about it and i’ve just recently come to the realization that my writing technique actually, legitly…sucks. Like, it just lacks the imagination and the creativity on paper compared to what it sounded like in my mind. Which makes me come to the conclusion that i’m¬†kind of bad at describing things. Gasp. And i’ve also realized that i write in the completely opposite way that i enjoy reading in. Do you get what i’m saying? (See what i mean though, with my inability to describe things?). Almost like i’m trying too hard to sound genuine and in-depth which is ironic considering my favourite author is Marian Keyes and i love her writing technique just fine. Hence,¬†it flummoxes me that i put in so much effort in molding my words into poetry and slinging in a metaphor every other sentence when that’s exactly the type¬†of book that i¬†tend to steer clear of.

Another thing that i’m working on is my reading. There’s probably another post on here talking about the exact same thing lol because it’s not exactly news that my reading count has steadily declined over the years as¬†my “adult” life has started picking up pace. Life really does take up a lot¬†and fiction is¬†prone to taking a backseat when reality has such a stronghold over you. But damn if i’ll let my love for books completely fade! I still enjoy buying books as much as ever but that just makes me a collector/hoarder of books and says nothing about how much time i spend neglecting them as they collect dust on the shelves. In fact, on the way back, all the books including the ones that i’d brought with me to Bandung and the ones that i bought while i was in Bandung took up one entire backpack (i chose not to put them into one of my suitcases because there’s this myth that if your carry-on luggage doesn’t look heavy, they don’t bother weighing them hahaha so my genius plan was to carry this 8 kgs worth of books on my back the whole time and to casually stroll in to the airport check-in counter and act like my back wasn’t breaking under the strain lol. Although in the end i didn’t have to because it turns out that my boyfriend bought more than enough baggage allowance for the both of us hahaha :’) ).

But despite all the books that i bought, i think the entire time i only read about three or four books in the duration of five months. Just terrible. Although I told this girl¬†that i’ve been getting too busy to read and she started knocking on wood and, like, almost had a seizure or something. Like, okay, we get it, you like books, here’s an award for “Most Self-righteous Bitch Ever”.

Currently i’m reading “The Miniaturist” which i started about two weeks ago or less and it’s been slow-going for me but i’m trying to read with meaning and actually appreciate the writing without skimming over the descriptive bits as i’m lazily prone to (Jessie Burton has a wonderful way with words, by the way) so i suppose it’s okay. Although, if i’m to be completely candid, i was reading it on the plane ride on the way back and during transit and i found myself sub-consciously looking around to see if anyone was staring at my book. The thing is, this book seems to be newly released (which i had no idea of) and the “book snob” in me (oh how i despise that term! But it’s for lack of want of an alternative) is almost embarrassed to be seen reading such a mainstream book in the open. Especially a book that’s running rampant on all the shelves of all the major bookstores that i’ve visited lately. Hmmm who knew that i was such a book hipster? I learn new things about myself everyday!

But the book that i really have my eyes on at the moment is “The Hundred Foot Journey”! I should have bought it when i had the chance but i only saw the movie after i started going broke so i wasn’t in the position to be going book shopping anymore by then. Creyes. The movie was absolutely mesmerizing and definitely the best¬†movie that i’ve seen this year. However, since¬†books are so ludicrously marked up here, i’m not sure if i’ll be getting it anytime soon.

But then again who i am kidding. I’m such a sucker for book retail therapy.

It’s currently 5 a.m. and my eyes are starting to get heavy. I’ll probably finish watching this episode of Masters of Sex (which i’ve just started watching three nights ago) and read a chapter or two of The Miniaturist before i officially doze off but i hope that this post marks the beginning of a lot more to come. You know how they say that getting started is one of the most challenging¬†parts and all.

That’s all! xx