My first three days of 2015 + A lesson on being fake/fantastic at communicating

by alittlehoneyformyheart

Here’s not a news update: It’s 4.48 am and i’m supposed to get up at 6.30. Yay

I feel like this should be my blog’s tagline since i almost always start my posts with a flash update on my ridiculous sleeping choices.

The reason why i’m getting up so early is because i’m joining my boyfriend on his company trip which will take place across the border and like, we have to catch a ferry or something and apparently, there are only two trips, one which leaves at 8am and the other which leaves much later on during the day. Guess which one i’m taking? Sigh.

The only reason why i’m going is because the resort that we’re staying at looks pretty great and is near the beach which is where i plan to spend most of my time during the next three days. I am absolutely desperate to start and finish “Gone Girl” asap. Not only because i’m absolutely obsessed with the movie but also because i want to work on gaining back my reading stamina! Not a new year’s resolution but it is definitely something that i want to improve. I don’t want to lose my zest for reading 😦 Sometimes i believe that my books define me better than words or people i surround myself with.

The one thing i’m not looking forward to is chatting with the other female “plus ones”.

As of late i’ve realized myself getting more and more aloof when it comes to people i don’t want to talk to or people i just don’t care for. It’s not a good thing but i also believe it’s a sign that i’m getting older and trying to utilize my time to the best of my capabilities. I just don’t want to waste time with small talk or empty conversation anymore than i absolutely have to. Usually, i make it a habit to stop for a minute and talk to whoever is in my way but ever since i got back, i just don’t feel the urge or necessity to do so.

It’s not that i’ve gotten snooty or anything, it’s more of the fact that yes, i understand it’s out of politeness that you’re asking me how my 4 month stint in Jakarta went but at the same time, i don’t know what i’m supposed to say other than “it went great!”. Like, to be honest, i wouldn’t know when to stop, to know how much i’m supposed to divulge or leave out. If i say too little or too much, i don’t want to face the few awkward seconds where you look at me questioningly to “go on…and…?” or the moment your eyes start glazing over when i start breaching on something deeper.

So tomorrow there will be a housewife, one wife, one girlfriend and a mistress. I’m not looking forward to the aimless chatter that i will be inevitably forced to join in. The fake, plastered smile that i have to keep on as i nod attentively or the “mmhmm mmmhmm OH MMHMM” that i hum or the concerned frown that i maintain as you talk about your annoying spoilt little daughter who i don’t really like and don’t find cute, to be honest, or something equally as tiresome.

Lol i sound like such a mean person but that’s just how i feel sometimes! It’s tiring being so good at communicating sometimes! I guess maybe since i major in “Professional Communication”, lately it’s been feeling like more of a job since i’m made to study the technicalities and all that jazz.

Okay i desperately need to get some sleep!

That’s all for the next three days xx

P.s. Happy fking new year! Here’s to another amazing and fun-filled year ahead!