“Complacency doesn’t have a place in this world of mine, mommy”
So i was having a fairly good chat with my mother as i was getting ready to go out just now. And suddenly, i don’t even know how, we broke out in an argument and she started dissing me saying i was being too snobby and ungrateful.
We were talking about their recent trip to Kuala Lumpur and how they said everything was so ridiculously overcharged (even with the recent crash in Malaysian ringgit). To be honest, i was not surprised in the least when she started venting because i’ve always disliked the whole currency exchange in Malaysia myself, like it may seem cheaper because you divide everything by 2.6 but with all the additional charges and taxes, it’s practically the same thing anyway (Brunei is tax free by the way, WE DON’T PAY NO TAXES except in Pizza Hut, fuck you pizza hut).
Anyway, my dad got sick in bed (something about being cooped up in a taxi with a cough-y taxi driver for three hours) and she wanted to bring the three kids out for ice skating and a movie. So my dad gave her RM100. And keep in mind there were four people altogether, three of them under ten (one of them was my cousin). So logically speaking, that obviously wasn’t enough by far.
But my mum being the housewife that she is (am i a bitch for saying that? Yes) was all like, “CHA-CHING”. Seriously, mum?
But when she saw the badly disguised appalled look on my face, she started giving excuses about so-and-so and how it’s been a hard year for my dad with my grandpa passing and him having to take up a lot of the responsibilities. I just shook my head and went, “i don’t want to hear the excuses. Please stop making excuses for him” because frankly speaking, i have heard it all and i am just fucking sick of hearing all these excuses on how we’re so poor and shit. Don’t talk to me about having a hard year because from what i can remember IT HAS BEEN A HARD YEAR EVERY YEAR SINCE I COULD REMEMBER. YOU’RE JUST BEING DAMN PELIT/STINGY OKAY.
Before i carry on, can i just say that we are not in poverty? Because from the way my mum talks all the time, you’d think we were taking our dinners at the soup kitchen every night. We’re not exactly rolling in dough but my dad is the head of department at a successful international oil and gas company. I understand we have loans but for once in my life, i would like to hear that we are financially sound instead of having my parents make it sound like are veering on the edge of poverty. Some parents make the mistake of never sharing their problems with their children and never letting them know of the difficulties that they have to face, always keeping strong and keeping a brave face on. And then you have my parents…
And then we started talking over each other with her talking about how she pities my future husband and how i’m such a snob and unappreciative and me saying if my husband really loved me, he would try his best to accommodate me and not underestimate my needs etc. And at one point she said something nastily like, “yeah well at least he’s staying” and i went, “are you cursing me to be a spinster or a divorcee?! Are you saying my future husband is going to leave me?! Umm i don’t think so!” and she went all smug going, “We’ll see”.
I ended it (only half truthfully) with “well i’d rather be a rich spinster than a poor wife!”
And then she went, “You’re ungrateful!”
“Yeah and you’re too damn grateful and that’s why you’re only worth RM100!”
I’m sorry that we don’t share the same financial values, mother. I only want the best for myself. Not only do we have differing views, my beliefs and choices today seem to completely go against everything that you’ve ever tried to instill in my mind all my life.
I’m sorry i turned out this way I’M SORRY BUT I FUCKING LOVE LUXURY. I LOVE THE GOOD LIFE, GOOD FOOD, GOOD THINGS, THE MORE EXPENSIVE THE BETTERRRRR.
I guess you messed up somewhere along the way because you raised me wrong. In your eyes at least.
Cause it is my belief that if you keep lowering your expectations, soon enough you’ll have none at all. No expectations, no value to yourself.
I am fine the way i am.