This place is too damn small

by alittlehoneyformyheart

Brunei is just too small. I’ve said it once, i’ll say it again. This place is just too damn small for me.

Okay so a lot of things are too small for me. That gorgeous red checkered sweater i bought from Zara back when i was in Jakarta for instance. That blue bodycon dress fits the bill. The list goes on and on. But that’s fine, i can always starve myself or go shopping again.

But tell me this, how the hell do i upsize a freaking country? Because that is exactly what this place needs. Actually, come to think of it size doesn’t even matter in this case. It’s the problem of the whole population. There’s just too many of us for this place. Bitches be needing to migrate asap (which happens to be a long term goal of mine). At this point, i’m willing to forego the freebies just to not have to bump into people all the time.

So anyway the point of this post is that recently there was a public holiday which resulted in a long weekend. Instead of heading to Bangkok again like we initially planned, we (me and my boyfriend) decided that this time we wanted a legit relaxing getaway because we know how we usually get caught up in the hustle and bustle of travelling, especially in a big city. So we set our sights on the Marriott resort in Miri instead, which is a  part of Malaysia which just slightly above 2 hours across the border from Brunei. And it also happens to be where Bruneians get their quick clubbing or drinking fix (because you know, it’s illegal here). It’s no Zouk or Full Moon party but you can get shitfaced drunk in a pretty decent club over there which i think is naturally the main intention of the people who go there.

Little did i know that this little getaway of ours would be little more than a reunion with every type of person i do my best to avoid on a day to day basis.

Less than five minutes after stepping into the hotel, at the corner of the lobby i see an entire hoard of distant relatives– the whole package, the entire clan. Keen on avoiding an encounter, i try to be as inconspicuous as possible by keeping my back to them with my best bitchface. But as relatives go (i.e. pretty damn annoying and nosy), i hear someone mention my name which i steadfastly ignore just because i can. Rude i know but it would have been different if they were right in front of my face which thank God, they weren’t. I didn’t give off the vibe that i didn’t want to speak to them, more like i hadn’t seen them and was having a really, really bad day so don’t approach me. Which worked because they didn’t come up to me or anything. Whew

Obviously this shouldn’t have been such a problem considering my parents knew that i was spending the weekend with my boyfriend (plus it’s not like they could stop me or anything, i mean, i’ve gone travelling for weeks at a time with him, how long are we supposed to maintain the illusion that we sleep in separate rooms at the hotel amiright?) so i wasn’t sneaking around or anything. And did i mention i’m 21 and my boyfriend is 27? 

But i still wanted to maintain some form of convention, for the sake of my family. I don’t want them to get a bad rep from nosy relatives who go about whispering how lax my parents are for letting me sleep around like that before marriage (snoozefest, please get out of the eighties).

Over the new few days, i proceeded to bump into several other groups of people i knew in some form– old classmates who had gotten married and were toting toddlers, seniors from my old high school who hated my guts and of course, more relatives.

And oh did i mention that while i was in the resort, trying to mind my own business despite an entire wedding taking place by the poolside (with a sermon 30 minutes long on full blast. FFS), i came across a child who looked remotely like a distant cousin of mine. I turn to the side and one by one, i start to notice that this huge bunch of kids– about 12 of them in total– look familiar. And then i realized that they were all from the Sunday school at my church and someone had brought them on a kiddy trip. And there at the side of the pool was an uncle from church (also related to my mother) who waved at me awkwardly as he tried to chaperone the kids without paying attention to me. Yay yay yay

Oh God, could things get worst? Apparently, it was about to.

Before i even had time to recover and doggy paddle as fast i could to my side of the pool (strategically facing the beach), doing the breaststroke right towards me was some girl that i had stolen her boyfriend from a few years back. Not even her ex-boyfriend. Her boyfriend (what can i say? 17 year old Sheyenne was a major bitch with major fidelity issues to match). Grrrrreat.

Needless to say, i think i lost some weight from the amount of adrenaline spikes i kept getting.

If this isn’t evidence of how small Brunei is then i don’t know what is. Just recalling the whole thing is so cringeworthy

But i must say, all in all, i did have an amazing time with my darling boyfriend. Sure there were times where i got cranky but he was amazing as usual. Although we didn’t manage to go clubbing because we’re a pair of old farts.

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This was only a third of the main pool and it still wasn’t big enough. P.s. I love this picture because just look at the yummy back dimples on that man. Okay so that’s actually just my skinny boyfriend.

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