Looking for employment…sucks.
So a few days ago, i got some bad news about being rejected for an internship programme that i had been nominated for. It’s not like i had even applied for it personally in the first place, i was selected along with a few others by our faculty’s programme leader and at first we were all iffy about it but eventually it did grow on me. The whole idea of it and just the thought of the opportunities that could and would come out of it was so exciting that i took the rejection fairly hard. I can’t say that i had 100% expectations of getting it but at the same time i’d had some of my hopes set on the programme getting me out of the whole “looking for my own internship or getting slotted into some shitty irrelevant company by default”.
Eventually during the interviewing process, we found out that it wasn’t what we thought it would be, it was something…not as great. But it was still a blow to me. Thank God that i’d kept everything a secret because i can find nothing tackier and more humiliating than getting over excited about something that isn’t set in stone and then having to tell everyone that “oh yeah…uh it didn’t happen”. I know people who do that and it’s not pretty. Just makes you look stupid asf.
But it still hurt though. I handled the news pretty well, i think. I didn’t cry
much, just a tear or two shed and some sniffles. Everyone needs a dose of self pity sometimes! Didn’t waste much time though because i needed to set about looking for a new internship! With the help of my boyfriend and advice from the ever amazing Qasha, i’ve been busy sending out applications to other places that my boyfriend has contacts in. Idk if it’s more nerve wracking that these are my boyfriend’s friends that i’m applying to but i do know that i definitely feel less helpless.
Do you know those nasty places that you email your resume to and spent hours fine crafting your cover letter to suit their vision and mission only to not even have any form of acknowledgement from them whatsoever? Yeah that’s probably one of those experiences that i’d list as top 20 shittiest moments (hmm interesting idea for a post). Plus i heard for the city that i’m applying to, you definitely need an inside person to get to places so thank God thank God thank God for my amazing boyfriend. It’s a little embarrassing but what can you do. I’m not about to be all “strong” and stubborn and not accept his help right.
Plus my boyfriend is pretty gung-ho about helping me out in everything since it’s his hometown and he can visit me whenever. Plus let’s face it, i’m not exactly freaking Donald Trump from the freaking Apprentice. I am no expert when it comes to applying for jobs.
I guess what hurts the most about looking for a place in internships is that…i am offering to work for free. For free. I will move countries and invest all my time and energy into a company without expecting any payment so how much more crap will i feel if i don’t get it?
Sigh. Looking for jobs is tiring, y’guys. And you know what, this isn’t even a job, it’s an internship. Yeah.