The bucket list that i never got around to writing about
I think i’ve said this more than it needs to be said, both in real life and in here, but i actually planned for this summer break to be different somehow. A little over a month has passed and i don’t think that i’ve exactly fulfilled what i set on doing previously. But to be fair (or unfair, depending on how you see it), i haven’t exactly set myself any goals in black and white yet. There’s an entire mental bucket list of things that i want to do but what with my procrastinating demons, i haven’t even gotten around to writing down this list!
I was thinking about it the other day and it probably sounds yawningly absurd to the average person mostly because it consists of things such as reading 20 books within the next three months (i’m sorry but it really does seem harder to keep up with my own reading the older i get), catching up and rewatching entire seasons of tv shows that i’ve always wanted to watch but never got around to doing, having a month long movie marathon and other seemingly mundane things. Oh and writing writing and a lot more writing.
I know i know it all sounds so basic and kiddish and is probably the daily routine of most people i know. But personally, i take it all as a challenge. My procrastinating tendencies have become so bad that i no longer can wait for the simplest of things to end before looking for something else to do or to distract me with. It can be as simple as waiting for a page to load on a slow internet day and me suddenly grabbing a magazine just to fill the 5 seconds and then forgetting that i’m on the laptop and get stuck reading for the next 30 minutes. Only to look back on my laptop and realize that i’ve sort of lost interest in what i was waiting for. Terrible, isn’t it!
So for me to have to actually complete this list (i love lists btw so i feel like it’s the right approach) and to go through with it all, it’s going to take more out of me than you can imagine. It’s not that i don’t love reading (it’s like asking me if enjoy breathing) or that i treat writing as a task rather than a passion just because i’m relatively good at it or even that i don’t like watching movies, it’s just the whole daunting idea of starting something and finishing it in one seating without being pressured or pushed.
Oh and f.y.i. writing this post already feels like an achievement. I only took four mini breaks to watch Downton Abbey (pilot episode, y’guys, i’m literally starting all over again) and this took about 20 minutes all in all! So…progress?