The Morning After
For those of you following up from yesterday’s post, i am glad to say it was indeed a temporary state of mind. T H A N K G O D
I guess i just needed a form of validation. From anyone. Just someone. Something.
To tell me that it’s okay that i didn’t do something productive today.
To look me in the eye and say “It’s okay that you’re not out there doing something worthwhile and fooling people into thinking that you’re doing alright for yourself or even better than they are”.
It’s okay that you didn’t find some way of improving yourself today because sometimes being yourself is enough.
That sometimes your life is enough.
Everyone needs some sort of validation at some point in their lives, even those who swear until they’re blue in the face that approval from anyone is the furthest thing from their minds. Because it’s all about “taking pride in yourself” and living for yourself and yourself only.
But i don’t believe that. I think that sometimes the people who are the most adamant about this are the people who cry themselves to sleep for want of someone to hold them, not knowing that it’s not a sign of defeat or weakness to crave someone telling them that they’re doing something right and that they’re not crazy or stupid or hated for it.
And while it borders on unhealthy, there are moments when i feel that without some sort of confirmation or nod of approval from someone worthy, i’d go mad looking for something worthwhile to do to validate my existence.
No one lives by their rules and their rules only and yesterday i was reminded of that.