We want C-sections! We want C-sections!
I cried watching this video of one of my favourite bloggers giving birth. Up til now i’m still trying to decide if i’m crying out of happiness at the sight of a mother meeting her baby for the first time or if i’ve just scared myself even more shitless by watching it.
I can’t think of anything more terrifying than the idea of getting pregnant and having a baby. No actually, scratch that. I can’t imagine anything more terrifying that having to raise the actual child! I had a short stint as a tutor once teaching English to my boss’ son. It was the worst job i ever had. I hate teaching, i have no patience for it. I like to think of myself as a fast paced woman of the century and having a kid who still stutters and hesitates when coming across “Peter” in Peter and Jane after the 34th time of reading it is definitely not my cup of tea. In fact, anyone who tells me that their lifelong dream is to be a teacher is immediately dismissed as insane or boring to the bone.
But i digress (why do i still use the word “digress”? I find it so pompous sounding!). As i was brushing away my tears while watching Xiaxue give birth i was torn between feeling touched and having a weird sensation in my tummy. Like as if it was me that the doctor was sawing away at. I don’t trust her when she says that “childbirth is a piece of cake”. I’ve never heard anyone say that before, she was probably just saying that because the birth was sponsored by that posh hospital. Okay i’m getting just slightly neurotic. Just a tad.
If i get pregnant and give birth, i definitely want a c-section with a fucking shitload of laughing gas and morphine. I don’t care what my mum says about how my baby won’t love me because i didn’t go through all that agony and torture and slaughter and whatnot. I’ll just make her read Xiaxue’s justification of it! That ought to do the trick.
Not that anything could ever convince me to pick otherwise.