My less-than-discreet Facebook post that i wanted you to see and know that it was for you

by alittlehoneyformyheart

“Time and time again i give you the chance to be the friend that i finally deserve after all the bullshit that we’ve been through, to prove yourself to be as good a friend as i’ve always tried to be for you because that’s the most that we’ll ever be. But each time you prove to me what i’ve always known all along, you run to me every time you need someone who doesn’t feel the same and then you run off again the moment that someone (whichever girl it is that has your heart at that time) looks in your direction and pretend like you never turned to me for a shoulder to cry on or in fact, that i ever existed. Once upon a time i would’ve bottled it all up just for another few months of your pathetic excuse of a friendship but no more no more, i’ve got way more self respect and dignity for myself now that i know that i deserve better than you’ll ever have for yourself which is why you keep picking up girls who treat you like trash.

This time you get out and STAY out of my fucking life. You’re a coward who doesn’t deserve any real friends! Karma’s a bitch and i’m sure you know all too well that what comes around goes around, B.”

This is the first time i’ve ever vented my anger out on a certain person. And God, did it feel amazing.

You’ve played that card on me for the last time and i’m sick of it.

It’s actually a funny story (just a lil background knowledge for all your curious cats out there). I have/had a friend. I fell in love with this bastard. This friend always implied that the feelings were mutual (have you ever watched “he’s just not that into you”? Yea i wish i had like four years ago) but this friend had a girlfriend. And lots and lots more after this one. Each time the girlfiend-you know what i keep  typing girlfiend by accident instead of girlfriend and somehow i think it’s a sign which i will take so i’ll be using the term girlfiend from now on- so each time his girlfiends broke his heart, i would be there to comfort him and call these girls every name under the sun just to help him understand that he didn’t need anyone who didn’t need him. Solid advice which i should have taken myself come to think of it. But every single time, friend gets back with his girlfiend, which is inevitable because friend has no proper self respect for himself, i get completely thrown into a ditch or put up in a dusty old shelf for future use, should there be one.

And after years of putting up with this, it’s finally come to the point where i’m not afraid to say what i want because i’m just no longer afraid of losing him anymore. I’ve got my boyfriend who loves me and whom i also love very much and well, friend is still just a friend. That was all i was asking for, i wasn’t asking him for any repayment for being his shoulder to cry on, i wasn’t asking him to love me back the same way or pour adoration by the tons at my feet, i just wanted a proper friendship with the one person whom i’ve had such a strong connection with.

And he couldn’t even give me that.

I don’t know the reasons for his actions (or lack thereof); perhaps he didn’t want me to judge him for the past five times he’s vowed to get up and leave the girl and felt like i would be mad  at him for wasting my time, perhaps his new girlfriend is a jealous cow and wouldn’t like the idea of me and him having deep conversations about her idk. I really don’t know. But this time, i really don’t care. I’m just interested to see how he reacts, although i doubt he will cause friend is a pussy like that.

So this afternoon i put that as my status, however, i customized it so that only friend would be able to see it, i waited for any sign to indicate that  he had seen it and when i got it, i removed him as a friend. My first time to his five. Lol

Congratufuckinglations to me!

 

Advertisements