U.G.L.Y. I ain’t got no alibi

by alittlehoneyformyheart

I’m getting so fat again. Like as fat as i was before my spinning injuries, that kind of fat. And that’s almost four kgs…

My self esteem is going into tatters and i feel ugly as hell.

I’ve been going out to meet friends before they leave again to continue with their studies overseas and what’s sad is that i’d like to take pictures with them and yet every single time i do,  i delete them immediately because i just look so horrendous in all of them.

Even my face up close without my body looks like a fat fuck.

God, help me.

Today i started my new “exercising” regime with my cousin and we went two rounds up and down this steep hill which i felt was an okay start to things.

But i relapsed again tonight and over indulged myself in food during dinner and snacked after that with desserts and chocolates.

I’m starting to feel like i have some sort of greed disease which is prohibiting me from living my life to its fullest.

I cannot wait to start losing weight to feel wanted again. I always thought my life would be soo much easier and smoother if i were just that amount of skinny.