My unplanned but so far successful “New Year’s Resolution” / self justification

by alittlehoneyformyheart

I’ve been updating this site more regularly since i got back from my vacation. I guess unconsciously, updating my blog frequently was part of my new year’s resolution or Annual To-do list, as i prefer to call it.

I don’t think people actually read what i’m writing and i think i’ve gotten used to the fact that what i write on here will probably never see the light of day.

But i definitely do feel that gradually, by posting more frequently, it sort of lightens this burden in me every time i do. Sorta. Yeah it actually does. I feel lighter when posting something, as if i’m sending a part of myself out there somehow.

I’m not at ease yet with the idea of “promoting” this site out to anyone i know (notice how i’m uncomfortable with the term “blog”?) because there’s still this fear of me being ridiculed and humiliated for putting myself out there. And obviously by revealing my thoughts and rants and opinions, basically airing out my “dirty” laundry, places me in a vulnerable position for any jabs from unfavorable persons.

I know. I’m constantly in defense paranoia mode.

But eventually, eventually, you know? As Blair Waldorf puts it, “baby steps, ma cherie”.

As i was saying, the more i post and the more i write about anything and everything, the easier it gets.

Earlier, i used to stall and stall and eventually the resulting post would only consist of 40% of what i’d meant to say at the beginning while the rest of it would just be improvisation, and a bad job of it if i may add. I also do have another agenda of making this site work though and that’s because i foresee myself making a career in the publishing industry of some sort. And most of my favourite editors always dish out advice on starting early and that’s mostly by writing blogs because it’s the easiest.

So there.

(Not sure if this post exists because i needed to clarify something to myself or if i needed t o justify my non-existent readership. Hahahaha)