Reminiscing the not-so-good old days
I came across a cover of this song which one of my friends sang (which i won’t link to eventhough it is a-may-zihng because we’re not close and that would be awkward) and i was just flooded with memories instantly. I used to worship this song back in the day and i think it was because it meant so much at the time, i just felt like it was personally penned to fit my situation. And i know this sounds crazy and all but when i listen to songs i really like the sound of, i tend to try to mold it to a specific experience or person in my head, just so i can “feel” it better. I know right, so dramatic of me! Which is why i tend to unnecessarily over think things or events or people.
But with this song, i didn’t have to at all because it just said everything i ever felt about that specific someone at that specific moment (not that it was just a moment, it lasted me for years!). And i think at that time i was still feeling it quite strongly as showed in my now dormant tumblr especially if you bother to read through the archives. Lol. I’d gotten the love bug quite badly at that time and i was holding out for someone who was never going to reciprocate despite popular belief (his and others) but then again now that i think about it, maybe no one else ever did think it was going to happen except for me. And perhaps everything i’d ever felt was in my head.
Perhaps. But you know what, deep down i know it wasn’t because i felt it so strongly for so long and it almost drove me up the damn wall.
But long story short, that part of me is dead and buried and i am now happily and seriously doubled with my boyfriend of fifteen months 🙂 Someone with no frills or flounces on his emotions and says it straight up. Because that was what i needed and looking back, that was what i deserved after years of having to read between the lines.
I guess i just felt like talking about it again after listening to that song because that was what i did the majority of the time when i was stuck in that love struck phase, i just talked and talked about it, in my head, on my tumblr, everywhere really. I suppose because that was the only thing i could do about it.