my pledged alliance to Reese’s peanut butter cups and frozen yogurt with unhealthy toppings and macarons and cupcakes are just unshakeable
BUTTTT
somehow divine intervention has decided to save me from myself and so for the past five days, i’ve been suffering from acute diarrhea.
Yay?
I mean, obviously it hurts like fuck and i get massive and agonizing contractions ever fifteen minutes whenever i step foot out of the house
but it’s cool. I’m like one kg down. Hahahahaha…ha…ha… *silently starts sobbing*
God, i’m such a loser.
WHY CAN’T I BE SKINNY ALREADY!?!!??!
Oh i know why. Because if i was, i’d be ruling the world already by now and i bet everyone knows that!
Everyone’s probably internally thanking their lucky stars that i haven’t got it all. hmph
Okay just going a tad neurotic because it’s 2am, i still have another day of exams on Tuesday (meanwhile half of my friends are already done with theirs eugh wankers) and THE GREAT GATSBY’S PREMIERE IS TOMORROW!!!! EUGH SO ESSITED i don’t even care that i have an exam the next morning, i HAVE TO SEE IT ASAP.
Yeap, that’s right, bitches, all that toiling away has worked off and i’m going to Bangkok for three weeks! I think i mentioned in one of my earlier posts that i was going to Thailand for a holiday with my boyfriend and to meet up with some friends, howevs, i applied for this ASEAN program and i got in! Hence extending my holiday from a measly one week to an exact of twenty two days! Oh God can this shit get any better? Although i do have my exams happening next week though which is a pain in my ass (and not the good kind) but i’m willing to overlook that for the wonderful head start to my summer holidays! <3 BUT EUGH i’m actually going on this crazy intensive diet right now because ALL I CAN FREAKING THINK ABOUT is how i will not be able to fit into any of the freaking clothes when i’m in Thailand and thus, hindering my entire shopping experience. ALSO, i am terrified of not being able to take any good photos of my holiday because of how fugly i am at the moment. So that’s right, no rice (when i can help it/ although i’m actually such a fucking failure, it’s only my second day and i already had nasi lemak for lunch today eugh fts), vegetable soup a supposed six times a day (when i can find any in the damn fridge of course, i’d be lucky if i don’t pummeled in the face with all the frozen fast fried food whenever i open the fridge door), lots of water, considerable amount of exercise (and since i can’t do sit ups for shit, it’s more like reverse sit ups with my legs). ANYHOW, back to Bangkok! I’ll be staying in this gorgeous 4 star hotel (FOR FREEE) for eleven days! And then after the forum i’ll be bunking at a friend’s place for four days until my boyfriend arrives. Cannot wait! I already foresee myself with numerous hangovers. I’ve been watching Hangover 2 religiously to, you know, just get a general feel of thangs. HEHEHEHE SUMMER HOLIDAY ’13 HERE. I. COME! P.s. It’s exam period so i don’t really feel up to blogging as much as i usually do
1. I’ve really learnt to understand the importance of a simple smile. I walked past someone a few mornings ago and she was on the floor painting something and she just looked at me and gave a “good morning we’ve made eye contact have a nice day just being friendly” smile. Which i surprisingly managed to return after 0.9 seconds of surprise.
Then the next day it happened again, i got out from my car and this girl who was walking towards me just gave me a smile as we walked past. WHICH I ALSO MANAGED TO RETURN IN TIME. I was actually so surprised because idk! It’s sort of bittersweet though because while it completely made my day, i also felt just a teeny bit saddened because…i mean, what has the world evolved to that a simple smile has turned into such a rare, sacred thing?
And if i could get away with smiling at a stranger without being shot down, i would. I guess that should be my belated, belated new year’s resolution.
SMILE MORE.
2. The most beautiful phrase a uni student can hear in his or her lifetime.
“Deadline… postponed”.
CUETHETRUMPETS, BIATCH, MAMA’SPARTYINGTONIGHT
What needs a knock on the head:
1. People who laugh really loudly to get attention. Bitch, please. If i hear your breathy, gaspy laugh one more time, i will shoot you right in the middle of your tacky, red glasses.
2. Bitches who hound on other people who have lives. Ho, i am TRRRRR-RYINGGGGGGG to get your damn list to you okay, you don’t have to hound me on my club’s facebook page, my whatsapp, my email, my profile and then tell me “you’ll be waiting for my reply”. I HAVE A LIFE TO LEAD, I HAVE A CLUB TO RUN, I HAVE VISITORS TO BE AN AMBASSADOR TO, I HAVE ASSIGNMENTS TO TEND TO AND I HAVE LECTURERS TO KISS ASS TO.
Not to mention i have a boyfriend a hundred thousand miles away from me because i didn’t have the time, energy or patience to take care of him one hundred percent when he was sick! So pleeease, save for your barking up for another tree.
I actually created this draft post like, ten days ago but then i just kept editing and adding to it and yea, since i have so much to say about what’s great and what needs a knock on the head i shall just turn it into a regular segment!
THIS. Or whatever it is they happen to be eating during their FAPFAP sessions. Eugh it is terrible how much of a sadist i am because i love watching Simon and Martina late at night and by late i mean, too early in morning. Like now.
2) While i was in Jakarta, my boyfriend’s sister insisted that i try an Indonesian “kuih” (there isn’t an actual English definition of kuih but it’s mostly used to describe traditional, handmade Asian desserts which are commonly found in markets) called kuih Apeh, IF I’M NOT MISTAKEN. It was being sold on one of the common green street carts at the entrance of this flea market that we’d just spent 3 hours at. And it didn’t look like much, in fact i was sort of turned off by it because it looked like a giant, green pimple. Yuck. But because i was on holiday, i decided to be all tourist-y and give it a try anyway since it was like 40 cents a piece or something. It was bloody good. Surprisingly tasty cause it expected it to taste mediocre cause it looked fragile and dry. BUT DAMN SON, IT WAS SO YUMMY. ALL INDONESIAN FOOD IS TASTY
Kuih Apeh (methinks) (don’t take my word for it)
I told you it looks like a giant pimple. Blergh. My boyfriend’s sister sent the picture to me a week ago telling me it reminded her of me! D’aww.
3) Nasi Gudeg
Gudeg
Gudeg is basically, from my understanding, jackfruit boiled in coconut milk and palm sugar with the subtle addition of spices like garlic, coriander, bay leaves etc. It’s also usually served with plain white rice, chicken, tofu tempe and herbal hard boiled egg. FUCKIN ACE, SON. It is pure gold. We drove two hours from Semarang to Jogjakarta (Gudeg’s origins) just to taste legit gudeg and it was worth every second. Even worth me drooling and snoring like a bloody wanker in the back seat. And that was on the second day of meeting them. Grrreat.
4) I really miss the street desserts that i had over there. The clear grass jelly, ais podeng, coconut and durian ice cream, i could go on forever. Ais podeng was funny though, the weirdest combination of desserts and yet the most complimentary as well; coconut ice cream, avocadoes, peanuts, chocolate sprinkles, bread, choc condense milk, fermented brown rice and pink jelly strands. FUCKING YUM. The worst thing was realizing that everything i got over there was a a fifth of the price i would’ve gotten it for over here. And yet it was also five times as good as whatever shit they serve here. No wonder foreigners come here and feel like they’re in boot camp. No one ever comes to Brunei and goes “omg your food is sooo goood! Oh yummy! Nasi katok!”
SIGH. OH JAKARTA I CANNOT WAIT TO GO BACK TO YOU AND DRY HUMP YOUR STREETS
“Ais podeng” which my friends gathered is actually a variation of “ice pudding”. Another remnant of the Dutch language
5) SEVEN FUCKING ELEVEN
I miss it so much *insert picture of me dry humping 7/11′s sign post*. The hot dogs with extra extra hot cheese, the teh tariks with hazelnut and vanilla syrup added in, the macaroni and cheese, THE RED HEART SLURPEE EUGHHHH. Why do you not have a 7/11 in here, Brunei?! WHY?! But you know what, even if they did, it would be completely shit. i can already imagine it, no hotdogs with cheese toppings, maybe one or two types of slurpee, microwaved nasi lemak, bland milo and coffee with a variation of syrups which you have to pay another 60 cents for. ANDDDD it would most likely guarantee close by 10pm every night. YAYY ME.
MIGHT AS WELL NOT BOTHER, let’s just keep this heavenly image of 7/11 intact in my head and may it remain a sacred place i shall return to each trip i make to Jakarta.
It’s now 5am. I was supposed to be doing my assignment and getting a head start on it. Fuckity fuck shit’s sake. My procrastination habit is getting out of hand and i’m am only slightly less hungry than i was when i started this post. Damnit
“Time and time again i give you the chance to be the friend that i finally deserve after all the bullshit that we’ve been through, to prove yourself to be as good a friend as i’ve always tried to be for you because that’s the most that we’ll ever be. But each time you prove to me what i’ve always known all along, you run to me every time you need someone who doesn’t feel the same and then you run off again the moment that someone (whichever girl it is that has your heart at that time) looks in your direction and pretend like you never turned to me for a shoulder to cry on or in fact, that i ever existed. Once upon a time i would’ve bottled it all up just for another few months of your pathetic excuse of a friendship but no more no more, i’ve got way more self respect and dignity for myself now that i know that i deserve better than you’ll ever have for yourself which is why you keep picking up girls who treat you like trash.
This time you get out and STAY out of my fucking life. You’re a coward who doesn’t deserve any real friends! Karma’s a bitch and i’m sure you know all too well that what comes around goes around, B.”
This is the first time i’ve ever vented my anger out on a certain person. And God, did it feel amazing.
You’ve played that card on me for the last time and i’m sick of it.
It’s actually a funny story (just a lil background knowledge for all your curious cats out there). I have/had a friend. I fell in love with this bastard. This friend always implied that the feelings were mutual (have you ever watched “he’s just not that into you”? Yea i wish i had like four years ago) but this friend had a girlfriend. And lots and lots more after this one. Each time the girlfiend-you know what i keep typing girlfiend by accident instead of girlfriend and somehow i think it’s a sign which i will take so i’ll be using the term girlfiend from now on- so each time his girlfiends broke his heart, i would be there to comfort him and call these girls every name under the sun just to help him understand that he didn’t need anyone who didn’t need him. Solid advice which i should have taken myself come to think of it. But every single time, friend gets back with his girlfiend, which is inevitable because friend has no proper self respect for himself, i get completely thrown into a ditch or put up in a dusty old shelf for future use, should there be one.
And after years of putting up with this, it’s finally come to the point where i’m not afraid to say what i want because i’m just no longer afraid of losing him anymore. I’ve got my boyfriend who loves me and whom i also love very much and well, friend is still just a friend. That was all i was asking for, i wasn’t asking him for any repayment for being his shoulder to cry on, i wasn’t asking him to love me back the same way or pour adoration by the tons at my feet, i just wanted a proper friendship with the one person whom i’ve had such a strong connection with.
And he couldn’t even give me that.
I don’t know the reasons for his actions (or lack thereof); perhaps he didn’t want me to judge him for the past five times he’s vowed to get up and leave the girl and felt like i would be mad at him for wasting my time, perhaps his new girlfriend is a jealous cow and wouldn’t like the idea of me and him having deep conversations about her idk. I really don’t know. But this time, i really don’t care. I’m just interested to see how he reacts, although i doubt he will cause friend is a pussy like that.
So this afternoon i put that as my status, however, i customized it so that only friend would be able to see it, i waited for any sign to indicate that he had seen it and when i got it, i removed him as a friend. My first time to his five. Lol
That’s not to say i’m not grateful for getting my period as we all know that periods can be, uh very handy at times in informing us ladies of our…uh, future circumstances.
But i really can’t stand it during my actual period.
1) It stains all my panties. FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
And since i have this thing about always wearing nice panties any time i leave the house (it’s this ritual i’ve had for years because unconsciously i’ve always had this movie fantasy of never knowing where or when your next fling or boyfriend fuck buddy is going to pop up so you might as well be prepared to go all lengths right?), this happens all the time. Do you know how painful it is to see your favourite turquoise silk panties look like props from SAW 2? eugh
2) To add to the injury, you also have to wash your own damn panties by hand BY YOURDAMNSELF during your period. Or at least i do. It is too damn frustrating! You just can’t throw your delicates into a pile and then launder it all in one go. You have to scrub. that. shit!
3) It’s bad enough that i once got a bladder infection from holding my pee in for too long (or at least that’s what i told the doctors EL-OH-EL) and that i have this insanely low tolerance for blood or any form of gore, must i go through the entire ritual of getting my ass up just to go pee only to be confronted by a literal blood bath? And then there’s the whole internal debate that goes something like this:
“FUUUUUUUUUUUCK it’s even got on to my shorts fuck oh fuckity fuck fuck eugh i hate blood oh God am i blacking out eugh im too lazy can i just ignore it no really can i should i should i just pretend i didn’t see the stains eugh fuuuuuck no i cant eugh it might spread on my favourite sheets and pillow oh FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK”
4) Yea this is just a continuation of number three but in case you didn’t already decipher this from my previous posts, i am actually quite the busy bee which means that if i leave the house at 8am there’s a 95% chance that i’ll only be back around midnight which is why i always take ages priming myself up in the morning cause it’s got to last the entire day throughout.
But what happens when you have your period and well, you’ve obviously got to change your pad at some point but can’t stomach the idea of risking flushing your pad down someone’s unfamiliar toilet bowl? I cannot repeat how important it is that you don’t do anything “big” in a toilet you’re not familiar with. So more often than risking this shitty business, i find myself holding everything until i get back home at the end of the day. Oh yea fresh as a daisy, that’s me!
5) AND FUCK THAT SHIT THAT HAPPENS WHENEVER YOU SNEEZE WHEN YOU’RE ON YOUR PERIOD
6) AND THE SMELL OF THE BLOOD OH THE ODOR OF IT BLEAGH DIES CREYES
i can’t even end this post now feeling so faint blog again soon <3
Ever since my youngest sister was born , i’ve developed this habit for endearments.
It’s quite ridiculous and i think i’ve trained her to be this really flexible kid who’ll answer to anything as long as you yell in her direction.
Her name is actually quite messed up as it is so for me to add to the injury is just uncouth!
It started with Timmy. Then it quickly moved on to TimTim. Then Tammers. Tamelia. Tamsie poo. Tasher. Tasherz. Tasheroo. Tashiepoo. Tamsie poo. BBGHBB (Baby girrrl Honey Boo Boo), Tashie boo boo etc.
I think you get the gist. All that within two years. But the reason why i suddenly think i need to put a hold on this habit of mine is because it’s started to extend to other people…like my boyfriend (Demsie poo), the other day my friend (Yassy boo), my dad “Daddykins”…
And just just now i found myself waking up my brother with “hamster poo”. Because his name is Samson and he never knew how to pronounce the S in Sam, so he ended up calling himself “Hamham” which sort of stuck with me, even now ten years later.
